well i usually just ignore those and log on right onto my xanga and check stuff.
but for some reason today, i looked through them. and this caught my eye...
I'm quite happy with my breasts. That's right, I said it.
I think I have very nice breasts. They have a pleasant shape. Strange men have even leered a couple of times. Of course I was officially insulted, but in a secretly flattered kind of way. I don't make a show of them too often because I'm a modest woman. But I like them and I wouldn't change them. And they will never sag to the ground, either. Because they're pretty small.
And no, I'm not going to post any pictures of them, so put your tongue back in your mouth.
There just isn't enough love for small boobs anymore. And by small, I'm talking A-cup and smaller. Because B cups aren't small. I don't care what anyone says. I remember a time when I would have given my eyeteeth for B cups. But not anymore.
Frustration Station
And please. Don't tell me how hard women with large breasts have it. It really doesn't make us feel any better. If you're tempted to tell me how hard you have it, save it. I've already heard it before from my friends. All of whom are more endowed than myself. I'm reminded of the final lines of Nora Ephron's classic essay "A Few Words About Breasts":
"And my girlfriends, the ones with nice big breasts, would go on endlessly about how their lives have been far more miserable than mine. Their bra straps were snapped in class. They couldn't sleep on their stomachs. They were stared at whenever the word "mountain" cropped up in geography. And Evangeline, good God what they went through every time someone had to stand up and recite the Prologue to Longfellow's Evangeline: " . . .stand like druids of old . . ./With beards that rest on their bosoms." It was much worse for them, they tell me. They had a terrible time of it, they assure me. I don't know how lucky I was, the say.
I have thought about their remarks, tried to put myself in their place, considered their point of view. I think they are full of shit."¹
For all the A cup and smaller ladies out there who have ever felt the same, this one is for you.
Media Mammaries
Regardless of how we're shaped, many women have a problem with our bodies. We are all far too hard on ourselves. I guess it's a combination of the way we are raised, influences of the media, society's expectations, and our natural female conceit - that biological part of us that wants to be attractive to men and to other women. We constantly compare ourselves to each other and so we rarely feel as though we physically measure up. And lord help you if you have a shape which seems to be on the receiving end of societal scorn, such as being overweight or having small breasts.
It shouldn't matter what celebrities do, but the fact of the matter is it does matter because we care. Whether you admit it or not, at least some of our standards of beauty are culled from the media. And it always seems that no one appreciates breasts of a certain size. Least of all the owners themselves!
This is why I am dismayed when I hear tell of such large numbers of women, famous or otherwise, getting breast implants. This sends a message to other girls and women that small breasts are somehow not feminine. It influences young girls to turn to an invasive and violent procedure in order to look "more like a woman". Much less advertised is that breast augmentation is no panacea for poor body image and low self-esteem. Implants do nothing for the person you really have to live with, the person you are inside. If it did, there wouldn't be higher suicide rates among those who do decide to augment. And if it did, I wonder if the physical risks would still be worth it.
Mental Augmentation
I used to hate my body. I felt cheated when I realized I wasn't going to grow anymore. I thought I looked like less of a woman. The irony is, I was not a "girly girl". It surprised me at the time that I felt this way, because I was never all about my looks. I always prided myself on my brain and my quirkiness, not my body. I was never into wearing sexy clothes or attracting boys. And I still felt bad about myself. If I had been, I imagine it would have been much worse.
I can't imagine how I would have felt had my family been the sort that allowed or encouraged me to have breast implants at some tender age. I suppose at the time I would have been excited. But a clear message would have been sent: my parents also think my body is inadequate and they too wanted to see it changed. I'm glad they are not that sort of people. That my parents, the most important people in the world, could think that way would have been incredibly damaging to my psyche and self-image.
I made the media work for me. I systematically used it in order to change my own views about my own shape. Images and movies - along with a dose of constructive self-talk and some slightly more flattering pieces in my wardrobe - were among the ways I taught myself to be OK with my shape. I found that emulating stars who valued their natural figures helped me a lot. I must have watched every Audrey Hepburn movie the New York Public Library had stocked. I even did online searches to find out which media stars had A cups and then bombarded myself with their images. (Not naked images, you freaks. I saw their movies and listened to their music.)
Many women my size wear padded bras and avoid scoop necked shirts. I decided that I would do the opposite. I decided to engage in a little "honesty in advertising" to show the world, and myself, that small looks good too. So, I stopped hiding them.
For several years, I got rid of or put away every padded bra I owned. I went on a hunt for bras that had no padding whatsoever. And at my size, that's not always easy. When I found a bra I liked, I would buy about 2 or 3 of them. I still have many of these purchases. I didn't shy away from shirts with a little scoop in them. I did get a few bras with only wires for a bit of support. Eventually I stopped being quite so spartan and started wearing lightly padded bras again - for a bit of shape, not to enhance the size.
I also wore a lot of stuff that enhanced what I was happy with, like my shoulders, my neck, my face, etc. I wore fitted shirts and tank tops proudly.
It also helped me to keep very healthy company. My friends and family helped immeasurably by being supportive and reminding me I was beautiful the way I was. If I didn't have them, I would have had a lot more to do on my own.
Ain't I A Woman?
I suppose it seems a bit neurotic that a perfectly normal, intelligent woman has to do so many contortions over such a superficial issue. Perhaps it is. But it is sure as hell saner, cheaper and longer-lasting than being stuffed with silicone sacks various times over a lifetime. And there's much less danger of leaking.
this post certainly surprised me. i mean i know its the Internet but i never expected a semi conservative woman to put the words Boobs [yes i know I'm very juvenile] but still...
and what i like about this post is that i have small boobs too, genetics. and everyday my friends make stupid comments about my non-existent boobs. well after reading this. I've grown to somewhat accepting them... kind of... but through time and once i leave my teenage years i believe i will come to full acceptance of my boobs and love them. :]
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